The Truth or Dare Parody
by Rubber-duckiesofdoom
Summary: A random parody on all the truth or dare fics out there. If you get offended easily and wrote one and would actually care, please don't review if you're gonna flame. I'll take anything but a flame.


The whole Gryffindor common room was gathered around in a circle. In honor of Gryffindor's birthday, they were playing truth or dare. It was a tradition that had never occurred to anybody until now.

Harry started, because he was the coolest and all the girls were swooning. Except for Hermione. She just wasn't the 'swooning' type.

Harry: Ron, truth or dare?

Ron: truth.

Harry: OK mate. Do you love Hermione more than platonically?

Ron (blushing): Ya. I'm hopelessly in love with her.

The common room burst out cheering. The 'lovebirds' blushed and eyed each other. Then, it was Ron's turn.

Ron: Ginny, truth or dare?

Ginny: dare.

Ron: Fine. Go and sneak a pair of a pair of Draco's underwear. We'll have Harry go under his invisibility cloak that nobody was supposed to know about and make sure you do it.

Ginny: squeak OK. Fine, but let me at least do somebody, please?

Common Room: (Silence. A dust ball roles around aimlessly.)

Ginny: Sickos. I mean truth/dare someone, duh!

Common Room: Oh. Ok.

Ginny: OK. Random first year whose eyes are bulging at the moment, go snog some other random first year who you have a crush on. Then let everybody laugh at you.

At this, Ginny walked out the door and Harry rushed after her. He was happy to go all alone around Hogwarts with her. She was his favorite fan-girl. He was obsessed with her curly, glowing red hair, freckles, and breasts that suddenly grew from nowhere because that is just how love works, duh.

Ginny strode down to the dungeons without any questions because, of course, Harry saved her from getting caught by teachers, because he is a very caring hunk who all of a sudden has a body that came out of his grueling work as the quititch captain, head boy, and savior of the world. Because all three jobs require gorgeous bodies.

Ginny stopped at all the random brick walls and said random words at them. None of them worked until she came to the one that did. She strode down confidently and all the sleazy Slytherins fell to her feet in awe. Because she just has that affect on everyone. She walked up to the seventh year boys rooms and found Malfoy's trunks. Just as she was walking out, Malfoy stepped out of nowhere. He had a soft look in his eyes as he told her that although their love was forbidden, he never felt for anyone like that and that he must have her.

Harry was disgusted at Malfoy for seducing his favorite fan-girl, even though he was good now because the dark lord had been defeated and all, so he killed him. Turning to Ginny, he smoothly said, "Ginny love, he was planning to become the next dark lord anyway. It's all fine. And anyway I'm the new minister so I can't be arrested! Isn't that such great news! I just got the mail today. Lets go to the kitchen and have an orgy with the elves and eat lots of fatty food without the fat and live happily ever after because afterwards you'll be pregnant, we'll get married, and we'll have lots of minis of ourselves. Wouldn't that be fun! Well, that is until I become a horrible dark lord and you become my sex slave. Then I kill you and the kids."

Ginny was glad for this attention. What else did she get her magical implants for? "OK! YAY! I'm completely ready when you are."

So they ditched the game and went to follow their plan.

(Meanwhile in the common room)

Ron and Hermione were busy staring into each others eyes. Hermione had suddenly gotten a beautiful body with glowing, curly hair. Ron had grown out his hair to have it fall in his eyes in a sexy way and had sprung bulging muscles to hold Hermione tenderly and tell her that he loved her.

Neville was passionately kissing a certain Luna Lovegood, who had happened to walk into the game after she had decided that mini-skirts were way better than bottle cap necklaces and that all her former believes were silly. Neville had overcome his fear of people and had proposed to her on the spot.

All the original quititch team had returned when they heard about the party. Katie Bell and Oliver Wood were busy re-producing, while George and Angelina and Fred and Alicia were nowhere to be seen. Because, you see, they had been kidnapped but were killed happy because they were in love.

Sirius had come back to life along with his school love who had committed suicide when she was sad one day. they were all busy partying that they were alive. Remus and an older, more mature, also being sent back in time, Hermione were sitting on the couch and talking about the things that smart people talk about and Remus was glowing about Hermione being six months pregnant. Because Hermione should always be pregnant, yet gorgeous, yet loyal in such stories.

Then Albus and Minerva (who had both randomly showed up at the party, but were totally fine with it because they're cool old people, right?) yelled that they were getting married. Everyone was happy. Especially them, because duh, they were getting married.

Voldemort came back all of a sudden just for long enough to apologize for all he did wrong, than went back to being nice and dead. The world was happy and full of random people.

Afterward:

The random first year girl slapped the random first year boy for snogging her.

**A/N: Hey, this is just a bit of silliness. I felt like making fun of those happily ever after/truth or dare fics. sorry to whoever was offended – but you shouldn't be. I still love those, but they are a bit… overly abundant, no?**


End file.
